Here’s what other people’s actions say about you
Do you get confused when someone doesn’t call when they say they will, or your emails go unanswered and text messages ignored?
You keep doubting yourself and wonder what it was you did to offend.
We begin to feel insecure and that downward spiral of self-pity and insecurity begins.
When I understood that it really wasn’t me I now don’t get upset. I am no longer bothered by how others behave. Attending yoga retreats and yoga classes has helped me overcome a lot of my self doubt as I’ve slowly built strength in my practice so my opinion of myself has improved.
I’ve come to realise that most of the time how someone else behaves has nothing to do with me.
Previously, instead of accepting the situation for what it was, I was internalising everything. I was making everything about me. Not only is that incredibly narcissistic, it’s totally unrealistic.
When anyone thinks, acts or does something, it’s from their own perspective, which is based on their reality. No one else’s. It’s about THEM!
So the solution is to not take things personally! Although sometimes that easier to said than following through with.
I’ve found meditation has been an excellent help
Meditation has helped me become focussed, calmer, less stressed and able to see each situation for what it is.
Yoga has immensely helped
When challenged with a pose I become mindful and as I keep working through the pose gain more confidence and less doubtful about myself.
Reading Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, he explained –
That nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
The opinions others give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds.
Don’t take anything personally. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering”.
When you take something personally, it’s the maximum expression of selfishness because you make the assumption that everything is about ‘me’ viagra mas barato.
A couple of weeks ago I made the ultimate ‘it’s all about me mistake.
I sent a text message that required a response.
After two days and still no response, I was thinking, “What is the deal? What a total lack of respect. He’s clearly making a joke of me”.
I sent a more punchy text and even included a piece about not appreciating being so disrespected.
As it turned out, my friend was under serious amounts of work stress and home pressure and working ridiculously long hours. There I was, making it all about me, when in fact, it was nothing to do with me!!
The Final Word
So how can you put these thoughts into action?
Next time you send someone a text message, as you press ‘send’, send it with love, gratitude and appreciation for any response you receive. If you don’t get a response (or not the response you were hoping for), remind yourself that it’s nothing personal and it’s because of something that’s going on for them.
By Jen Kaz
– QiYoga Instructor, Yoga Mentor for QiYoga® Teacher Training, Yoga and Meditation Retreat Facilitator, Meditation Teacher, Fertility Yoga Instructor